seed heritage bunny mary janes via besottedMy memory of February is still achingly fresh in my mind.  While I was on the plane back from the West coast headed to my country house in the woods of North Carolina I decided that I was going to tell my husband that I wanted to stop trying. I needed a break, I was taxed beyond reason and each month that I did not see a positive sign on my pregnancy test after over 24+ months of trying was heart breaking; I could not take another month of disappointment and grief.  Unless you have been there, you can not comprehend the despair, especially if you have been thoroughly checked and feel like you you are just doing it wrong, wondering why it’s not working or happening for you. My husband and I have always discussed the very real possibility that I may not be able to get pregnant, after all I met my husband late in life and thus time was not on my side.  We made a pact that if f I could not get pregnant that we would not seek out fertility treatments nor adoption, but that I would get a miniature animal farm or at the very least another puppy and become a crazy dog lady.  I secretly had no doubt that I would (until time was proving otherwise). I am Latin and besides the Roman Catholic thing being why there are so many babies in our family, I believe Latin women, especially in my family to be extremely fertile at any age. For years, I avoided direct eye contact with the opposite sex, because you just never know, a wrong glance could prove the next immaculate conception. I had heard of an aunt that got pregnant at 54, a cousin once removed getting pregnant with twins (possibly triplets) at 49, so I figured I had time. After over two long years, I had resigned myself to the fact that I also had my father’s genes and maybe they just weren’t as fruitful as mi madre’s side of the family. I came home from the trip and for the sake of not having a rogue pregnancy test staring up at me from my bathroom drawer for the next six months I decided to use it, of course it read negative, it wasn’t a surprise but one last disappointment.

A couple weeks later I realized I should maybe take another test, things were not on time, but I chalked it up to the travel + stress, we were getting ready to move cross country again and at the time we did not know where. I picked up a test took it and left it on the counter, I didn’t want to see the results and get crushed another time.  My husband went into the loo and about 3 seconds later called out, “Hon, you’re pregnant”, my husband is very matter-of-fact.  A few things went through my mind–1) I thought it was cruel to joke around like that and 2) if it were true I wasn’t going to be able to come up with a charming + clever way to let him know, I wanted it to be a surprise.  No worries, as I walked into the bathroom and he held the test with the very clear words ‘pregnant’, I could see he was most definitely surprised. So many emotions took over–elation, fear, shock, the gamut.  I had an uncontrollable urge to lift my fists in the air ala Rocky Balboa and jog around the house in victory.  We had done the seemingly impossible.

And this my friends is how I am announcing that I am pregnant, knocked up, bun in the oven et al!  I am at this point very pregnant, no one would mistake me for having eaten a large lunch type of pregnant.  We know it is a girl, which suits me well, according to everyone that knows (just a tiny coterie of family & friends). We were convinced it was a boy, so we have had to start getting used to the fact that it is a girl and go back to the drawing board on names.  I am getting excited to meet her in December and welcome her to the world.  I am terrified too and my greatest hope is that we raise a healthy, kind, intelligent, brave and creative individual. This story has a part deux that I will share tomorrow as I am going to dedicate this week to baby, please allow me to indulge myself as I have never been known to keep a secret and it feels grand to finally be able to divulge to you my great news!

Author / Miss Tristan B

Miss Tristan B. is the proprietress of Besotted Brand and the writer of this delightful blog. She recently re-located to sunny Seattle with her handsome husband and two pups, they are expecting a baby girl in December. Her lofty goal here is to make this a creative resource repository and to inspire you to fall truly, madly, deeply in love with your life.


    1. Thank you sweet Jane! I owe you an email and I wish I could be there to eat breakfast with you, love those shots, always perfect simplicity!

  1. Congratulations! I am so so happy for you! As someone who struggled with infertility for years, I can sympathize so much with the pains of infertility. I used to delay taking a test a ridiculous amount of time just so I didn’t have to see a negative sign, or the words “Not Pregnant”. And now I have a 15 month old draped across my lap in a dreamy slumber. And you will soon have your babe to cuddle and snuggle too!

  2. Congratulations!! Such exciting news. I am so sorry for the heartache you had to endure, and I am so thrilled for you for the wonder that lies ahead! I hope the rest of your pregnancy is smooth and happy!

  3. oh! please oh please oh please can she be an esme?

    (sending a full heart of happiness to you, sweet sweet sweet girl. you know how i adore you.)

    1. Get this Karey, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE, I told a former boyfriend the two names I LOVED for a baby boy and girl and he names his daughter Esme and his son the boy name???!!! WTF?! Will you please help me name her? You are SP good at that!!! My husband is loving Grayson….

  4. congratulations!!! your ext is so realistic and lovely, it made me nostaslgic. pregnancy was my best time ever (well, right after being a mom, seeing the man I love becoming a father and of course meeting our son and watching him becoming a little person of his own every single day) enjoy every moment of it!

  5. OH MY WORD!!!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!!! darling tristan, i am over the moon thrilled for you {and hubbby and baby}!!!!! reading your recent posts, i kept wishing and praying that instead of some horrible plague, you were fronting because you are pregnant and indeed you are!!!! GAH!!!! i am ecstatic! now YOU, rather than i, can write that book on parenting! wishing you smooth sailing the remainder of your pregnancy! YAH!

    1. I will still need your words of wisdom!!! AND tomorrow I am going to explain what I have and why it has been so dire, I wanted to be able to announce her in a happy post and not let the dark shadow of my affliction be the center stage, she deserves to be known to the world in the happiest + my joyful light possible!

  6. So happy for you! I met my husband later in life too and we’ve decided to let fate take its course – it is beautiful to read how your story had evolved to such happiness. Congratulations!

    1. Rach, that is the best idea possible, it was SO unromantic the whole getting to baby part I can’t believe my husband and I made it through, lol!

    1. Thank you sweet Kelsey, I am hoping to add a ‘twist’ on the whole baby angle here, as I have NO IDEA what I am doing and I have some very real concerns (this Sh@! is terrifying, lol).

  7. Many congratulations, Tristan! May the rest of the journey to December be smooth sailing and your best-of-all Christmas present be a wonderful blessing!!

  8. Congratulations! Even though we are strangers, this brought tears to my eyes. I love the beauty of your blog and the beauty of this post. I am getting ready to get married (next month!), and I, too, will not exactly be the youngest bride. What you have described is something I totally understand…the fear and realization that it just may not happen for you. Anyway, I am so happy for you! What a blessing. Thank you for sharing your heart.


    1. Congrats to you Emily! My unsolicited advice being that if you want to start a family soon and don’t have the luxury of getting to just be with your husband as a couple is to be kind to him, it can become a mission and you lose sight (FAST) of the joy of starting a family and become conception robots, at least that happened at the 12 month mark for us. Maybe try after a few months so you can enjoy each other for even a little bit. Oh, and start your prenatal’s now, you will be glad you did even if you don’t start trying for another year (your hair, skin and nails will look fantastic!)
      Wishing you a lifetime of love, getting married was one of the best things I have done;)

  9. CONGRATULATIONS!! I’m so overjoyed for you.

    As a fellow December mother (what is your due date?), I hope you are enjoying every moment of the latter part of your pregnancy. If you are lucky enough to be feeling well, I hope you are taking some time with your husband to enjoy the end of this phase of your relationship before you begin what is going to be the most amazing journey. I know that sounds incredibly cheesy and ridiculous but it really is true.

    1. Mrs. Limestone it’s seems they have given me a big window, I am due December 3, but the window is open until December 16th?! I read all your posts and nothing about it sounds cheesy! I am just trying to enjoy standing up again, I have been through hell and back and so has my husband with my being so sick for near 6 months so we are celebrating the little things:)

    1. Thank you Meg!!! I can’t wait to try your book out on her! I hope I can capture her essence as well as you have been able to with your girl;)

  10. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!! A new baby is the best kind of news and those shoes are beyond adorable.
    I am very happy for you and so glad that you are settled in your new home in time for your new bundle of joy!
    Thank you for sharing your wonderful news.

    1. Simone, aren’t those shoes killing you? I about died when I saw them! Thank you for the congrats from France, it is welcomed and much appreciated!

    1. Thank you Jill! I hope she is as smart, pretty and kind as you;) I have been craving your chocolate caramels, I hope you are making a batch for December, hint, hint;)

    2. Oh my goodness, I have some now that I just made – they are all yours! Please email me with your Seattle address. I would *love* to send them to you!! Anything to make you happy and just a little more comfortable. xoxo

  11. Happy, happy!! Congrats, what wonderful news! You will no doubt be a most stylish and amazingly loving mama – looking forward to hearing more!

  12. Congratulations Tristan! What lovely parents you will be + what style awaits your new babe! Yours is my first go-to blog on weekday mornings because I love your personality + wit, and even your little doubts about life. May you savor your moments, as surely they will be teaching you whole new aspects of living. Blessings upon blessings to you!

    1. Thank you Joy, that makes me so proud + happy to read (especially as my husband does not think I am witty, lol). I appreciate your blessings and I intent on savoring every second of life after my ordeal:)

  13. Congratulations! It must be something in the blogosphere. Your the fourth one of my fav bloggers to be pregnant now! I am very happy for you.

  14. A-MAZZING!!!!! congratulations!!!! is that what all that “sickness” was all about?? hadn’t even though of this as the culprit! i was more worried for you than anything! so this is great news!!!

    1. ughh, yeah, i just saw a comment you’d made above to another commenter. i’m so sorry to hear that. will continue to keep you and your baby in my prayers!

  15. congratulations! I’ve been a fan of your blog for ages (after taking your food + foto course). So happy to read this happy news today. Waiting for the first baby is so scary, and overwhelming. My best advice: go with the flow and follow your instincts and you’ll do well :)

    1. Marit thank you! I worry that I will not have any instincts, lol! I am trying to read everything I can get my hands on and am open to any + all advice:)

    1. Thank you Jennie! I can’t wait to take a cue from you and create photo documentation in a beautiful + simple way. I am truly inspired by how well you have navigated these waters and make it seem so effortless!

  16. This is fantastic! I am so happy for you and your husband. Congratulations. I loved your list of greatest hopes for baby girl. You are going to be a wonderful mother. Looking forward to more posts about this exciting adventure of yours!

    1. Thank you so Holis! I hope I have an interesting take on bringing home baby + motherhood to share. I don’t have much experience with children so my goal is to keep her healthy and hopefully all the extras will fall into place!

    1. Thank you Lo, I can’t wait to bring her to California and for her to see the expanse of the Pacific, things I grew to take for granted will hopefully be seen through new eyes!

  17. Wow, this is such exciting news, Tristan – I felt a rush of excitement and happiness for you just reading this post! Congratulations to you and your husband!

    1. Thank you, it is exciting, it’s like winning the lottery of life! I definitely didn’t think it would be so difficult so I feel very fortunate and feel like I have great responsibility to make sure now that I have gotten so lucky to add a well-rounded individual that enhances society and the world she is part of, not too much to ask for, right?

  18. What wonderful news – big congratulations to you! You are such a kind, supportive, and generous person – your little girl will have the best mom. Wish you lots of health!

  19. That is SO sweet! I’m so excited for you. Your story reminds me of ours. I took a test just because I had the flu and wanted to take some cold medicine. I never expected it to be positive. SURPRISE! I took it downstairs and held in front of my husbands face and said, “So, there’s this.” No special announcements in our house either. Our tiny girl is due in about two weeks. I’m just so excited for you and your husband. I know this has been a long time coming. She’s a lucky girl to have such a wonderful mommy and daddy!

    1. Thank you Toi! I am so excited for you as well! I will be on the look out on FB to see her first pics, I am sure she will be a beauty just like her mama. And yes, I saw so many charming scenarios for announcements and well, I guess best laid plans..

  20. Also, those shoes……kill me dead. Luckily my work computer has blocked me from looking at them. My husband is probably thankful also!

    1. It’s in Australian dollars which makes them look more affordable than they are, lol. If I bought this I think they would be put in a little glass box, they are insanely cute. Bunnies? Get out of town!

  21. !!!! exciting times!!!! loved your post, your writing about what you and your hubby went through!…i know it means a lot for anyone who has been there too. thank you! i am so glad to know that its a girl, so that i can shop for you in australia, UK and Japan!!! xoxo M

    1. Thank you Miss Maybelle! I am getting pretty excited now about a little girl too, I hadn’t even been looking at little girl things but there sure are so many darling items that it makes one giddy!

  22. congrats! the best adventure ever.
    i’m excited about a little-bit-of baby showing up on these pretty web pages.
    you always do everything so beautifully – i’m sure that ‘little girl’ will be the same.
    love, lindsay

    1. Thank you so much Lindsay! I hope I can bring a fresh perspective without turning people off, lol. I am exicted to explore so many things and hope that I can find some treasures that are life enhancing and not so commerce driven, but those shoes above had to be shown, right?

  23. That’s so wonderful, congrats! I found out about my daughter in a very similar way (although I was 25, not yet married to my partner, and certainly not trying). He went into the bathroom after I’d taken the test as a precaution, and came back saying “Oh baby, Oh baby, oh baby, there’s a…you’re pregnant.” I remember that moment with fondness now, but it was more shock at the time. Now that we’re trying for #2, it’s been much much harder. I completely understand the heartache of a negative pregnancy test and wish you nothing but the best for your pregnancy and leap into motherhood. It is truly, undoubtedly, the most wonderful accomplishment I’ve made so far in my life.

    1. Lol, Sarah that is a sweet story:) Thank you for the kind words! I empathize with you so. I just read of a blogger that is ahem, older and she wrote that they got pregnant on their first try, lucky duck OR is it? I think there is definitely an appreciation + gratitude in trying and it FINALLY happening, at least that is the story I am selling myself (and buying). I wish you lots of baby dust for #2, I hope it happens for you soon AND take those prenatals beforehand, they help!!!

  24. How sweet! Posts like this make my day. You will be a fantastic mom to a little girl! Congratulations!! In addition to the cutest Mary Janes I’ve seen… I’m confident she will also have the most beautiful personalized paper trousseau ever :)

  25. OH MY GOODNESS, what wonderful news!!! (wish I had known before mailing your package, ha…will have to send another soon)….YAY!!! So happy for you. xo

    1. Are you kidding???!!!! I just received today and I am all blubbery, trying to craft a thank you note as thoughtful as your gift! We both will use it and LOVE it, I think it’s PERFECT!!!!

  26. How wonderful! I went through a similar stage and it is heartbreaking to see that negative test result month after month. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is filled with joy xxx

  27. Tristan! I knew it! So weird, but I was really feeling that you were pregnant the other month. Different signs led to my suspicions, and now it is confirmed in such a sweet and hopeful announcement. Congratulations!!! So happy for you guys :) Praying for good health. xoxc

    1. Been thinking about you too! This Seattle summer sun has been so perfect. Did you have something to do with it? I hope you’re settling in well. I definitely want to get together soon. Let’s plan it with Michelle again! Take it easy and enjoy this special journey, my friend. I can’t wait to see your beautifulness and that adorable bump. I bet you look so gorgeous!

  28. Oh how wonderful! Congratulations! So exciting. And I do know a little bit how you felt. We waited well over a year after we started trying for our second child. And while I did have one baby it was so frustrating to have it all work out so well immediately the first time and then have to wait and wonder if we would ever give our daughter a sibling.
    hope you are feeling well – be healthy!

    1. Jill, thank you! I read about another blogger who had a problem conceiving her 2nd child and it was equally heartbreaking, because you want them to be close in age and grow up together, it’s all so stressful! I can’t even imagine trying for a second after what I have been through, I was hoping for twins so we could have it done in one fell swoop;)

  29. Yay for you guys! I can only guess that you being on the couch was due to your pregnancy. I hope you are feeling better these days. Congratulations! You will love having a daughter. I have 3 girls and love having them as my best friends now that they are older. I can only imagine the amazing inspiration she will be to you. :)

    1. Oh, Pamela it was so much more than that I shall explain tomorrow! I SO hope I have that same type of experience with my girl, it would be nice to have a close relationship with my daughter! Any advice on raising girls will be welcome!

  30. Yippee! I know we don’t really know each other, but I feel like I know you through your wonderful shop and blog. And I am thrilled for you and your husband. I was sure hoping that this would be your sickness and have a happy ending! Congratulations!

  31. Yaaaaaaay!! CONGRATULATIONS!! I’d wondered, but it’s really not the sort of thing you go about asking your imaginary friends. (Or is it?). So Fabulous!

  32. oh, my friend, i am over the moon for you! it crossed my mind when you said you were sick. i thought…maybe she is pregnant and is having complications. but i just hoped you were healthy and that good news was on its way. HOORAY! i am so, so excited for you guys. this is going to be amazing.

    1. Thank you sweet Krista, I wanted to tell you, but it was so precarious for so long I had no idea what was happening for either myself or my baby. I am feeling much more secure + positive and am trying to enjoy this last stretch!

  33. I must agree, this is the most wonderful thing I have read all day! Children are the greatest joy in this world. My most cherished moments in life are when each of my children were born. It’s indescribable. I will never forget the joy I felt when I had my first daughter; thrilled at the fact that someday she, too, would get to feel the depth of love a mother has for their baby. What a beautiful rainbow to your difficult health storms.

    1. Oh, thank you so, I needed to read such beautiful thoughts. I can only imagine the love I will feel, it may make my heart explode. I love my girls (my pups) so darn much, I am trying to wrap my brain around the love I will feel for my daughter!

  34. Dear Tristan
    Many congrats to you and your husband!! Your story strikes very close to home….two dear friends of ours have struggled with fertility problems over the last two years too. I have sat and listened and cried many times with my sweet girlfriend it’s been soooo hard. And then out of the blue over dinner a few weeks ago her husband blurts out we’re pregnant!! He said the look on my face was priceless!! And at the weekend the icing on their cake they found out they are having a little girl who too is due in december!! So thrilled for all you guys that your baby dreams are coming true! What a special Christmas it will be this year!

    1. Thank you for sharing Sally, it is a good friend that would be willing to listen and be empathetic, it is hard for people to understand how it feels, since it should be such a ‘normal’ part of life your . There is so much loaded emotion of sadness, despair, failure, grief and anger, but all that is zeroed out with a clean slate when the hope of a new future is eminent, be it naturally, with assistance or adoption, it is just amazing. Wishing you and your friends a ton of continued joy!

  35. I can relate to so much of what you wrote here. It took us 5 years and many miserable trips to specialists. Our story is nothing short of a miracle , as we had given up hope of ever having biological children. Our baby girl was due in December, but thanks to Thanksgiving dinner, she showed up 3 weeks early- 13 years ago! Those of us who have endured the trials of conceiving never take our kiddos for granted. We are so blessed to be parents, and I know you will understand that as well! Congratulations!!! so happy for you! xoxoxo

    1. Thanksgiving dinner! How is that for a wonderful story? I feel like I will never take anything for granted after this. I also never realized how badly I could want something with every ounce of my being, thank you Denise for sharing!

  36. Oh my goodness…oh my goodness…oh my goodness!!! We are just jumping up and down for joy over here for you and your husband Tristan! You two are going the be the most wonderful parents! And with a December baby…you’re in for the cutest little bundle possible! I’m so, so, so excited for you! Truly!
    Sending lots of hugs your way! xo Ez

    1. Thank you sweet Ez! I feel that some how your mommy dust must have rubbed off on me that trip. I had NO idea I was pregnant when I was with you and your daughter and I remember clearly thinking that I wanted that type of bond/relationship with my own child. You set the bar high and I admire you to pieces for making your daughter your priority, she’s an amazing girl and you are an amazing mom!

  37. OMG!!! And thanks to HIM :)
    Congratulations to you and your hubby, I am already imaging beautiful baby girl and you couldn’t have anything else than a girl…you just had to!!! Even better, she will be born the same month as many other wise and beautiful women..Congrats again. You are a star!!!

    1. Thank you Karolina! I agree, this was not in my hands at all, she is a little miracle on all counts and I already feel so blessed. December is a beautiful month, I LOVE the holidays and I can’t think of a better season to welcome our girl!

  38. Oh my gosh, congratulations! I know what you mean about a baby girl suiting you perfectly – people have been telling me that when I announce that we were having a girl more than two years ago! What a wonderful blessing, you are going to be a wonderful mom!

  39. Many, many congratulations! That’s amazing news. She is indeed a lucky girl to have a mum with such a beautiful spirit as yours and I know she will be truly cherished as all children should be.

  40. Hi Tristan, hooray! That’s such happy news to hear! I will look forward into seeing all your amazing photos, baby finds and picks, Pinterest board? December is my favorite month. Your baby girl’s birthstone is: Turquoise and flower is: Narcissus, thought it might be interesting to know. What a great way to welcome 2014 as a family. Congratulations!

    1. Merissa, thank you so much for this! I hadn’t even thought of this yet, but that is a lovely birthstone + flower! And I agree it will be so wonderful to start the new year as a new family!

    1. Thank you Taynia, I am going to make sure she has a better handle on money and isn’t freaked out by it like I was! I think you have given me a lot more confidence in this realm;)

  41. Congratulations and best wishes to you and your husband. I love stories with very happy endings. Enjoy each and every moment, it is a magical time!

  42. I am so thrilled for you and your family! Congratulations! I’m catching up on posts, and I see part deux explain your recent health issues, so I will go read that in full now, but I had to send you best wishes right here first!

  43. Congratulations!!!! Even though this is a one way relationship and you do not know me, I feel like I know you by reading your entries. I am so excited for you and I can’t wait to meet the new member and find out what her name will be.

    1. Oh Nan, the only way to know you is to see your comments and I am so happy you have left me such a kind note! And I can’t wait to find out what her name will! My mom raised the bar with my name (I love it so), I just want to make sure she has a name that she loves as well!

  44. Congratulations! I’m sooo happy for you. And I understand all your “elation, fear, shock, the gamut” as together with my husband, we passed through the same experience.
    Reading your emails of the last months, I feared for the worse, but you can’t imagine how happy I am for you.

    1. Alexandra it was the worse of the worse (read part deux, eek!) but I am coming out the other side, it’s unfortunate that this happened but I am just going to focus on all the positive!

      P.S. I have added your name to baby pool, how darling is a baby Alex?!

  45. OH MY GOODNESS, i am so late to reading this & joining the virtual festivities !!! such GREAT NEWS to hear about this beautiful miracle — for you, your husband & the little B herself :-) wishing happiness, health & hope for your growing family, in this delicious time of expectation …

  46. This is such happy news ~ Congratulations! I’m overwhelmed at the number of friends who have to wait through fertility issues, I love their pregnancies announcements the most. My babe is about to turn two and after a ‘high risk’ pregnancy, I still have moments of total awe at how simple yet totally incredible mom-ing is. Enjoy enjoy enjoy…xo

    1. Thank you Emily! I have found there are so many that have been living with this and it is something people keep to themselves, it’s hard and my heart goes out to anyone that is gong through it now. I am really looking forward to meting her!

  47. Eeek! Awww! How exciting! We were told we could not have children……after an ectopic & losing a fallopian tube and the emotions that came with it all. I remember being stunned at a positive pregnancy test! I even did 3 tests to see if they all read the same ;) Now we have 3…….
    Many blessings as you prepare for her arrival!

    1. I remember talking to you Kara and how you confidently told me I would get pregnant (even after it had been YEARS), I held on to those positive, it helped, even though you didn’t have a crystal ball, you DID say it like you did, lol!

  48. WOW!!! I am sending my excitement to you both from Colorado!! I just arrived back home and am catching up…. I need to read each + every post with ALL the details. I see some letterpress announcements in the wee one’s future… I’m just sayin’ …..

  49. I, too, am just returning from summer vacation to this wonderful news! Congratulations and best wishes on a wonderful, healthy rest of pregnancy! After reading your next post on your months of illness, you deserve it!
    Also, I had a suspicion… Lol. I had noticed for the last little while that your pins were becoming more and more baby-centric. :p Just call me Sherlock.

  50. Beautiful! You have such an amazing story of letting go and letting things fall into place as they will. Congrats to you and your family. I am so happy for you!

    Kamela, formerly Modern Girl Style

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